A few days ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. I wish I could say it was "out of the blue" and I was "completely shocked," but neither of those are true. It was actually pretty expected, and as much as I want to hate him, I can't (go figure. How many people say that. Now I know what they mean). So anyways, I'm basically pouting (aka, "mourning what could have been and won't be"), and I texted my brother to let him know. Don't get me wrong, I love phone conversations, but I also wasn't too keen on my brother seeing/hearing me break down completely, so I decided a text message would suffice. Upon hearing the news, he said, "It's ok. These things come and go." To which I replied, "Wish it would have stayed longer, before it went." Doug replies, "I'm sensing a life lesson, here." Hmm...smartass! Or so I thought. So, to test his knowledge, I said, "Which is?" (probably more snarkily than I had intended it). And then, he goes on to say the following:
Oh, something on enjoying everything for what its worth, never squander a moment, always a silver lining, hindsight is worth more than gold. Some afterschool special bull. :-)
And then, just then, I wished for a moment that my younger brother were in fact my older brother. Not solely to propagate age-related stereotypes, nor "older siblings are wiser" stereotypes (though for the most part, it's true ;) ) but solely for the fact that, to give such sound, content advice seems like something that should be coming from an authority figure, an elder if you will, and that my 16 year old brother, however great, seemed slightly out of place giving it.
But not really.
If you think about it, though I may be more "independent," "intelligent," "social," "academically-oriented," (the list goes on, all according to my parents, btw, not me...) than my brother, the truth is, that kid possesses a wisdom beyond his years. And, it's not because of the amount of books he's read, or because the number of years he's spent on his own, dealing with life... Rather, it's sort of this innate ability he has to internalize people's feelings, emotions, and so on, and come out with a worldview that is, while possibly inexperienced, completely moving and beautiful beyond belief. I don't know how he does it, but he continues to inspire me and give me hope that there are more people in the world like him. He may call himself negative, even cynical, but he remains a positive force in my life, inspiring to do more, be more, see more, and achieve more.
I guess, as "amazing" as I am (haven't I heard that enough in the past few days/weeks/month), I will never consider myself as cool or pure-hearted as that kid. Maybe it's just the whole, blinded by the reflection in the mirror syndrome, but that kid's got so much going for him, and I can't wait to see him fly.
"We are at the crossroads of destiny, and I am forever with you."